Moving in ten days whether i want to or not. My life is basically over, ive lost everything of value or near to my heart except my daughter and my pets.
So it could be a new start, except for the fact that my panic attacks are so out of control I can hardly think. I need a job, but know my mental stability isn't good and know I can't handle it.
I don't want to me a failure like my sister. I don't want to keep losing everything every three years and shit never being good. I want a normal life. A happy life. No anxiety, no cry spells. I just want to be alone.
But that isn't possible so I will sit here and listen to John Mayer and pretend I'm not having a panic attack or wanting to kill myself.
And to my friend, thank you.
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